Insecurities

Insecurities are always prevalent.  One can be scared and unsure of one's self or others or in their performance or anything.  We struggle with wanting to be safe to be accepted.  I have so many insecurities I struggle with how I appear to others and what others think of me constantly.  It does matter if it’s the way I dress or speak or the way I convey myself.  I do realize I can't make everyone happy and I'm in no way perfect.  Lately I'm noticed how pessimistic I can be.  It actually hurts my heart because I honestly believe I'm a sort of friend a person goes to throw a pity party with.  I'm not the friend a person goes to, to feel better but only to have another person wallow in their pain with.  I want to be different I want to be the friend that ppl go to be happy and cheerful with.

Challenge to you ppl

Take note of what type friend you are.  Are you someone that only wants to be unhappy and celebrate pity or are you the sort of friend that brings ppl out of his or her misery.  Better yet what kind of friend do you think God would want you to be?

Fear and Failure

I've been really busy in life doing what needs to get done, college and work and church and such.  For a long time I struggles because I had no clue what Gods plans for me was.  I got really down and one night I just gave up I figured if I didnt worry about it maybe something would happen and boy did it happen.

God just works in mysterious and awesome ways and I was so fearful of failing (failing in general and Him) Then I realized what God has been telling me so much in the past eight months.  That man will fail if you put your faith and trust in them (they are not perfect) but to put faith and trust in God, because he will never leave you nor forsake you.  These past few weeks have been a real test of that.  I'm currently fighting a bad mood because I never realized how much faith I put in man (alone) and now I'm getting let down (again). 

A challenge for my friends out there.  Put your faith in God because unlike man he will never leave you.  You can not fail because God is with you.

Joshua 1:5

Expectations

Yesterday was a thought provoking day for me.  I again feel like I disappoint my family.  Its sad I try and not let it bother me but the more and more I try the more I fail and it bothers me.  I know for a fact I'll never live up to the expectations of this world.  I know that the only expectations I have to live up to are those of Gods.  Which I continually try to do.  It hurts though when it seems like you fail. 

I often doubt myself, mostly because I dont think I can live up to others (mans) expectation.  Yesterday a friend told me two things which were food for thought.  One:  If I'm doubting myself that means I'm doubting God and what He is capable of...do I really want to doubt God and His awesome power?

Also, I've been struggling with change.  I want so much for change however I'm terrified of it.  I often thought if I left where I am then I would naturally have to make the commitment of change.  However that wise friend of mine said  "sure you will be geographically in a different place but then you will find you're routine and go back and do the same thing time and time again.  The only change that will happen is if you make it happen and decide thats what you are going to do, but moving to another place isnt going to make that change."

So, my challenge for you people are only live up to the expectations of Gods because mans expectations are false. Also, make the change happen dont just think a different place will do it. 

**Correction in spelling, thank you!**

Blogs

Blogs are an absolute crazy thing.  I honestly dont know why people choose to blog.  I however do like going and reading the honest thoughts of others.  The real blogs, not the angsty teenage drama. 

Inspirational thoughts.  God has been really working in my life right now.  He is showing me how to truly love people.  Not the i love everyone but when it comes down to it only care about myself love.  The love where if someone was to talk about that person you'll stand up for them.  God gives us that love and when he talks of loving people thats the type of love he wants us to have and give.   So, I dare you people that when you're nice to someone or see another person to Love them, smile, and truly be there for them.  It's not all about you.